ummm...thank you for the comments and support...i honestly didn't think anyone looked at this anymore so i wasn't expecting anyone to read that i was just journaling some feelings out...but i apprciate the help.

in a nutshell...i went to visit my ex in ND, brought my best friend anna. they had sex...they left the damn condom wrapper or a tiny piece of it in the garbage...and it there were 2 in the 'hiding place' the day before...then after i saw the wrapper i looked and there was only one...this in coinsidence happened the one night i didn't sleep in that room...only to walk in later and see them cuddling in bed together as if they were married...my best friend turns out to be a moraless slut with no values...and obviously didn't care about our friendship...she knew i still had feelings for him..i told her out flat it was a mistake for me to break it off...now i know i broke up with him, and it was a year ago...but isn't it a huge unwritten rule that you don't jump in bed with your best friend's ex anyway??? it's not like she can tell me "how was i supposed to know you had feelings..."...it doesn't make sense....friends don't do this to each other...then i get called a fucking psycho for flipping out and being upset?? yes...i was upset...how could i not be? they both lied and denied it...now...honestly...i have no real proof...but aren't there too many clues that say it's what happened?? it's not fair...i am a loyal friend...how would she feel if i jumped in bed with oliver?? probably not very good AT ALL...she would have ripped my face off right away... and even if they actually didn't go and have sex, don't isn't it kind of reason enough to be shocked and hurt seeing them spooning in bed together?? i don't know...i just don;t...i don't know how i can EVER trust anyone again...i had a best friend...the min anything went wrong and the friendship is over...i just don't know what to do...